Your Food is Your Business. So is Your Body.

If you have spent any time reading my blog, you may be aware of the fact that I am an advocate of staying out of other people's affairs and working on myself instead of making a judgement on someone else's choices. Unless I am asked my opinion, I have found it best not to offer it, especially in situations that involve very personal choices. Food is a very personal choice. This is oftentimes very difficult for me because as a health coach, food is the overarching subject that I get asked about. It takes some practice to leave this subject alone with others.

This post is to bring awareness to the phenomenon (which I blame on social media and diet culture) where everyone is commenting on what everyone else is eating. This should not be normalized, and it is okay to not allow it in your life.

The Weight of Words

Comments made about food can hit hard. I'll share two personal experiences with two different outcomes to show how these comments can shape a situation.

Situation One

Several years ago, I was invited to a lunch by a friend of mine who is from Iraq. She made a traditional Iraqi lunch with an array of appetizers and a table beautifully set with intricate cups, plates, and utensils. It was so elegant, and she put so much work into the presentation and food that it was a humbling experience. Another person attending the lunch was a self-proclaimed "health-warrior" and made a comment at that lunch that I will never forget.

We were eating and the subject of energy and being tired moms came up. The "health-warrior" told the woman responsible for the entire lunch that we were enjoying that she may have more energy and "feel better" if she would maybe "think more" about the food she eats.

Silence. The proud and generous woman who provided such a thoughtful gathering was now offended and understandably, uncomfortable.

Situation Two

I was recently invited to a party for an expecting couple. It was a happy and exciting gathering. It was time to eat, so everyone made their way into the kitchen. The food was laid out beautifully and there were many different things to choose from. One of the options was a tower of cupcakes with fluffy frosting that looked delicious.

The hostess told everyone what all the dishes were and then said to dig in. My daughter, at the front of the line, walked straight to the cupcake tower and took one first. Someone in line said, "you're not supposed to take the dessert first!". My daughter looked a little embarrassed and hesitated for a moment. Another woman in the line said, "Go ahead and take it. You know what you want and that is the sign of a leader." My daughter smiled, regained her confidence, and walked off to eat her cupcake. That woman knew what she was talking about and taught me a valuable lesson.

In this situation, it appeared that another kid was trying to eat dessert first. What really happened is that we had already eaten lunch, and my daughter was not hungry but asked me if she could have a cupcake. Even if she had not, is it anyone else's business?

This is an example of how a positive comment can add to one's enjoyment of a situation and create confidence, while a negative comment may stick with someone forever and add no value to a situation. No comments at all would have had a neutral effect.

The Cycle of Judgment

It's probably safe to say that most people have experienced negative feelings about their bodies due to comments from others.

Many individuals struggle quietly with their body image, and external comments can intensify these internal battles.

When people say things like, "You shouldn’t eat that," "Did you eat all of that?", or "Are you sure you want another serving?" it perpetuates unhealthy feelings around food. Such remarks can cut deeply for those already facing self-doubt.

Food, which is meant to nourish and bring joy, often gets tangled in negativity. The narrative linking food choices to moral worth creates a toxic relationship with our bodies. We begin to see them merely as instruments that must adhere to external standards, sacrificing our joy in the process.

Every individual reacts differently to comments about their food choices or body image. Understanding this can help foster empathy. Instead of judgment, we should practice kindness and be mindful of how our words might affect someone else.

Redefining Worth Beyond Appearance

Let's make a conscious decision to understand that our bodies do not determine our worth.

Each person's body is unique and goes through changes throughout life. The societal standards of beauty are not fixed; they shift with trends, media portrayals, and different cultural influences. It is not uncommon for both men and women to experience anxiety over their appearance due to changing image ideals.

Changes in our bodies, whether from weight gain or aging, don’t reduce our value. They are simply signs that we are living life. Embracing this fluctuation is crucial in our pursuit of bodily autonomy.

When we treat our bodies with respect instead of scrutiny, we open doors to a more rewarding existence. Detaching food choices from moral judgments allows us to enjoy meals without fear or guilt.

Stand Up for Yourself

Start with yourself. The next time you feel the urge to comment on someone else's food choices or appearance, pause and consider the fact that your words carry weight.

The internal battles many face with body image is real. A particular comment may seem like no big deal to you, but it may be a real issue for someone else. Each person deserves to live free from unnecessary judgment tied to their appearance.

If someone is commenting on your diet, food choices and/or appearance and it is causing you to feel uncomfortable, tell them to stop.

It is ok to create barriers with others around private choices that you make. This includes your body image and food choices.

Let's all try to respect the boundaries of others and create an environment where we can offer and receive information from others, discuss different ideas, and make decisions without being held to someone else's standards.

Never forget to prioritize your health!